Small Town Misogyny & Female-Owned Businesses

Small town misogyny. 

I think some people think I’ve exaggerated the bullshit misogyny I’ve had to put up with throughout my career because it’s “timely” to be talking about it. But my god has it been incredibly exhausting. 

From entitled, overly privileged boys in high school to a music industry full of men who treated me like a maid or personal assistant when neither one of those things is what I was hired for. I was always interrupted, sometimes not having my ideas heard unless it was brought up through one of the men on my team, having to justify my dedication to my job instead of family. 

Having to justify, more powerfully and vocal than most, why I’m qualified and talented. Learning to overcome the need to apologize for speaking up. Learning not to care whether they wanted me to share my ideas or not. Knowing that I can lead, in most cases better, than most of the men leading me.

I’ve left companies and towns because of misogyny. And funny enough, it’s always the small ones who are the worst of the worst. Newport Beach, Nashville, Seaside.

I’m proud of my family for opening this wine bar, but I want to be totally transparent and honest — some of the male business owners in Seaside are FULL BLOW MYSOGONISTIC PIECES OF TRASH.

They’ve said things to my mother that they likely wouldn’t have spoken with a man in the room. They’ve encouraged their patrons to write “bitches” on signs we have up on our business. They’ve talked trash like we’re little girls that don’t know what is going on in the world. 

I’m educated. I’ve conquered New York City and Los Angeles. This small fry misogyny won’t scare me, and it won’t scare my family. 

But what it does is discourage excited, vibrant, talented female business owners from wanting to launch something extraordinary in your small town. And given how many amazing female-owned small business I support… I think that’s sad for you.

We’re going to keep thriving. Despite your lack of welcome and decency. I’m just sorry we can’t be on the same team. 

Keep the good ‘ole boys club going, guys. It helps us know who to avoid and where our true allies are.