Two years ago I did something I honestly didn’t think I would ever do. I left Nashville.
The journey to that departure was chaotic and painful. It left me broken, drowning self doubt and uncertainty, and lost in the world.
It took a conscience decision to take a step back and move away from it for a few months to see what the deal was. Was it me? Was it Nashville? Was it something I wasn’t even thinking about?
The answers came in the form of a lot of self reflection and personal honesty. All the things I thought I wanted turned out to be toxic. It was the road that seemed the most obvious but left me destitute and unfulfilled.
The music industry for me was a place where nobody could see my potential. Nashville was a place where I felt like I had to dim my light and let others shine in order to find my way to success. Writing became a chore, something I did to appease a publicist that had a client I really wanted to talk to. I said yes to a lot of things I hated. I spent a lot of nights at shows I didn’t care about (and shows I loved). And in the midst of it all, I lost sight of what I really wanted in life.
I spent two years trying to find a full time job and experiencing constant rejection. Two years of feeling that unless I was willing to play a game I would never succeed. And I wasn’t willing.
I realized, I wanted to succeed. I wanted to absolutely love what I was doing every day. Where I was, who I was with, how I lived my life. Nashville checked one box — I got to see music every night.
I spent time in New York on a whim but the moment my feet touched down on the pavement I knew I’d never leave. Just the air, polluted and grimy as it might be, sent an energy through my body that I hadn’t felt in years. It was the beginning of a transformation.
A transformation that reminded me of my self-worth. That’s where it all begins. That’s where so many of us sell ourselves short. I’ve spent the last year and a half pulling myself up, figuring my life out, and being happy. Because of self worth.
I rediscovered my thirst for travel. My love of food. The thrill of experiencing music without an agenda. I learned how to take better pictures. I cherished impromptu moments of adventure. And that’s where this new blog comes in.
I’ve learned a lot of lessons that I want to share. There are a million people out there I can learn even more from. So, I want this to serve as a community of encouragement, a place to find inspiration, to discover new sights, sounds, and tastes.
I made a promise to myself that I would continue to live unapologetically.
I want you to live unapologetically right alongside me. Welcome to Autumn in New York. Settle in, I’m gonna be here awhile.